stupidgenes | XX6: In the Flesh [Video

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XX6: In the Flesh [Video - Accidental]

[The device turns on with a quiet click, revealing from its awkward angle on the floor a dark room where the silhouette of a nude young man with long hair bustles about amid the shadows.]

Where the hell are they…?

[Then, the lights are on. The room is spartan at best, and it would be difficult to lose anything in such an organized place. Despite that, the young man quickly wanders back into view fast enough to prevent anything from showing before he seats himself at the edge of the bed and struggles to get himself into a pair of boxers.

Asch grunts and struggles with the piece of small clothing because he just can't seem to get it on. This should be simple enough--put one leg into one of the available openings, and the other in the remaining. Yet, he finds his leg repeatedly seems to miss the hole or otherwise slips from it for no apparent reason.]

ARGH!

[This goes on for a minute or so before he throws the pants to the floor, blocking the device's view.]

--What the…?

[Oh my, that must be the sound of Asch noticing the device and making the horrifying realization that it's on.]

Dammit!

[Finally, it clicks off.]

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[Luke is having a horrible day and it's just about to get worse. He's still at the restaurant when he sees this.]

A-- Asch?!

You and me could make a hyperresonance and I'll show you my Big Bang Effect.

Dgk—!

[So much for going home early.]

Th-that wasn't--

[FUCK. ME.]

Wh--

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?

[He has the screen doing facial close-ups because uhh NAKED.]

And how can I erase this stupid video!?

[Luke facepalms. Hard.]

I-it's a curse... and you can't.

[please don't kill me, i love you ;-;

JUST NOT IN THAT WAY]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T ERASE IT!?

[He winces.] You just can't! I've tried to take stuff down before, too.

DAMMIT!

... Why the hell do you want to make a hyperresonance now!?

[He shakes his head fiercely.]

I don't. I-- I think that was supposed to be a pickup line.

[On Asch, nonetheless. He's so not looking at the PDA right now.]

... So you just hit on me? With a terrible line like that?

[Priorities. What are they.]

I-I wasn't trying to--!!

[He's so fun to fuck with. Luke, your hero-crush is fucking ridiculous.]

Then why did you use a dumb pickup line on me if you weren't trying to?

[For the same reason you can't get your pants on, Asch.]

I said it was a curse! I can't believe you think I'd actually hit on you!

Who said anything about wanting you to hit on me!?

[He's missed the mark. Again.]

[This is beauty, right here.]

You acted like I should try harder if I'm going to do it! L-like it doesn't even bother you!

It would've sounded stupid even if you said it to someone else!

[He puffs up his cheeks.]

Like you could do better!

[His nostrils flare.]

And what if I could?

[He looks away dismissively.]

I doubt it.

Do you really expect me to believe there's some kind of curse making idiots like you say bad pickup lines only once so they sound even more stupid when they can't prove it's a curse?

What?! I've been dealing with this all day! I got slapped at work and then your friend got mad at me when she tried to eat there! Just ask her!

[Luke, you are not helping.]

I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me—

[He claps his hands over his mouth.]

Then stop saying stup--

["I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me--"

WAT.]

NOW YOU'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE!

N-no I'm not!

-- Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

[GLARING]

You're just making it worse!

I'm making it worse!? How am I making it worse when you're the one saying dumb things!?

If I don't try to say anything, then it's not as bad.

Then, stop talking! It's not like that's something hard to do!

And before people get mad at you, tell them you're cursed and you'll keep saying stupid things if you don't shut up!

A-- anyone else would've figured that out by now! You're the one who keeps--

[Okay, but Asch has a point, so Luke claps his hands over his mouth again and GLARES LIKE HELL.]

Mmmphm mph mphm.

If anyone could've figured it out by now, why haven't you!? And what the hell are you blaming me for!?

[It's not like Asch is doing anything wrong, nope!]

Phm mmphm ffmph.

[His eyes narrow.]

Mrf.

[That sounds suspiciously like 'jerk'.]

...You putting on a show?

[Lopsided facial close-up. Furious and embarrased red. Furrowed brows. Veins popping out.]

NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING I'D DO ON PURPOSE.

You do a pretty good job of pretending either way.

I AM NOT PRETENDING.

No need to be modest, now. Jig is up.

[Jeez Asch, she had a better impression of you than this.]

Public indecency? [So. Disapproving.]

It's not like I knew this stupid thing was going to broadcast it to the public.

And I can't find a way to erase it!

[It's not like she can't sympathize entirely.]

I would advise not having it with you when you are changing.

I didn't realize that I'd be changing as soon as I got out of bed!

Is there nothing you can put on?

There's nothing else in here.

[The device had been showing a close-up of his nostrils, but he turns it around and zooms out to show his room. Then, he points the device the same ways that he's searching... Nope, no clothes anywhere. Except the boxers he'd found earlier.]

And I can't even get those things on!

Stay in for the day. No one will blame you for not exposing yourself.

I was going to call out after finding out about this...

And I'm already speaking to my employer, but that idiot's hitting on me with pathetic pickup lines.

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XX6: In the Flesh [Video - Accidental]

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